Okay, I need to vent on this one. Let me give you a little background on my life, I am a single mother of 3 kids. I have been single since April of 2009, I have not dated or even thought about dating because my life is my kids right now. With that being said, in the last couple of months I have gotten contacted (harassed) by a couple of very insecure women on facebook, that for some reason or other have decided to select me from their boyfriends entire friends list to interrogate. Now, I do not communicate with these guys on a regular basis, I do not comment on their page in an inappropriate manner, nothing to make anyone raise an eyebrow.
I am at a loss, I don't understand even a little bit of what is in theses women's minds.
Sometimes I look around at the women I see, the women I hear tell about, the women who contact me randomly to get information or reassurance that I assume will help them sleep at night.
I am so sad, and really so disappointed in how the majority of women conduct themselves. I understand why it is so hard to find a 'normal' man. It is because men are so used to dealing with these women that they do not know what to do with a woman who is not falling down at their feet, or obsessing over their every move.
What happened to women? or have we ( I cringe to include myself in that statement) become this? What is wrong with women these days? Why do we empower anyone, not even just men but anyone to control our minds and our lives like this?
Grab a hold of who you are! Spend a few minutes getting to know and love yourself between relationships so you may move on to a regular, stable, loving relationship. I know there are people who are just 'this way', but come on, not all of you have to be this way. It seems to be more women that are insecure like this, then are not.
Try being in a relationship, and focusing on positive things and if you need something to obsess over, make it school or work or if you have them, your children!
Stop nit picking the past, stop being frantic about any of the women that your man maybe comes in contact with, stop measuring yourself against other women, JUST STOP.
Let me say this, and I know it has been said before but maybe someone will listen this time. If the man wants someone else, he will get it. IF THE MAN WANTS SOMEONE ELSE, HE WILL GO AND GET HER. Nothing you do, nothing you try and 'interfere' with nothing you say will stop it. NOTHING.
So please, please for the sake of the future for the sake of the general perception of women, PLEASE get some dignity. Get some self respect, stop worrying so much over something you cannot control.
Enjoy your relationship and if it is not enjoyable or if you are worrying more then anything else then leave it. Because if you spend that much time worrying about things like infidelity then either you are right and he is cheating, or you need to spend some time single and working on your SELF.
You cannot be free to enjoy a healthy relationship if you are obsessing about this type of thing.
I never handle these women's emails or comments well, I always get very frustrated and actually angry. The reason is because I am offended. I am offended that these women think that I owe them something, they think that I am mentally on their level and will dignify their insanity with an explanation. Well, I won't, you have hit a brick wall when you email me. I will not now and not ever explain myself to someone because they demand it of me. I actually do have dignity and self respect.
I will not encourage your disgraceful behavior.
Relationships, are optional in life - they are a perk not a necessity. Everyone watches movies and thinks that is reality and that is what they need to have in their lives. It is not the norm, it is not something you have to achieve in your life. When you watch movies and see a superhero, do you believe you can be that too? No because it is in the movies for a reason, if it was everyday life that these phenomenal love stories came true then why would we pay to see it? I believe that in our lives we all have our blessings, some have family some have career, some have amazing friends. Some of us have more then one of these blessings, but to think that you have to have ALL of these blessings is well, just setting yourself up. Too many women go on and find a man who wants that fairytale as much as they do, wants to call someone his 'wife' and really anyone he can tolerate looking at will do. Then they get a few years in and realize this was not for them, or the man cheats or the woman cheats. Because you got yourself into something and tried to play pretend but forgot it was pretend. Just being able to say you have something will not always be enough.
Sure, some people commit to committing to someone and if they are both on that page then great but do not lie to yourself.
This world is beautiful, enjoy it. This life is short, don't live it for someone else - live it for yourself.
If you find the blessing of a 'soul mate' then good, but that is rare and it is not for everyone. I would venture to say that 90% of people who are married are not soul mates, most of them just made a choice. Hopefully a choice that they can continue to choose for the rest of their lives.
If you found your soul mate then great, be happy with that. We can not all, have everything.
I think that is the biggest disappointment for a lot of people, most people want everything and will do anything to get it. You could be gone next week, instead of worrying about getting everything just enjoy what you have right now.
Good luck and please, learn to love yourself first - you came into this world alone and when the end comes you will have to take that journey alone as well.
If you need to devote a part of yourself to something and you can't find the right partner then devote it to helping people, they will appreciate it more.
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