Monday, February 13, 2012

What about your friends..

Well, I am going to get some venting out today. The last couple days or week even, have me thinking and really looking around me. I don't know if perhaps I just have super high standards, or If I live in a fantasy land but I have trouble with other human beings. I have the same trouble or issues with female friends as I do with potential boyfriends. I know people who have tons of friends, that has me thinking either they are a-lucky, b- they don't think too much into people, c- they accept people for who they are even if they don't like them or d- maybe I am a bad person and have no clue. 
Let me elaborate, I will use these an example of my most recent experiences. One is with a 'friend' that was always a very self centered person, I knew it but there was a really nice side to being friends with her and that was she knew how to listen - that is huge for me I love having someone to call and just ramble on to, it helps me figure out what i want to do if I can talk to someone about it. Now we were friends for a very long time and I had a car I was getting rid of, I let her assume the loan on it. BIG mistake, she (around the same time got a boyfriend) was already onto bigger and better things then our friendship. So once she had the outside influence of other people she managed to see herself as a victim, in her mind she was doing me a favor. I don't know how because she paid the exact amount the payment was for, I made nothing off of the deal. In the end she stopped paying and the car was repossessed. Fast forward to today, I had some income issues and had to get rid of my vehicle that was almost paid off, i went for a cash car but it was very tight with the kids and all so I knew it was temporary. I eventually got into another car (like I spoke of in my previous post) and that was a major headache, so I got my dad to help me out and co sign (first time in my life he was willing to do so  - I guess this means I am growing up!) and when I was applying no one would help me because of her(or my if you are looking at it this way) repossession, even though  when I got rid of my own truck I had it paid off by a dealership. In the end I got one place to approve me, but they added this balance onto my new loan. So I am paying on the car she walked away from, I also helped her get cleared of tickets that would have cost her over 800 bucks in that car, I had to drive a hour to go to court and defend it since I was the technical owner of the car I would have gotten the ticket but she knew she would have to pay it, in the end no one had to because I showed up and defended it. Now the balance on that repo was 811, in addition I have  HUGE interest on this loan so the right thing to do would be for her to at least offer to pay half of it, she just said wow that sucks. -- Thanks friend--
There is so much more to that story but It would take me a week to type so in the end, I am just disappointed that even now around tax time when I know she will have the money she still just can't be a 'friend'. 
I just feel like, finding true friends shouldn't be this hard - is it me? or is society overflowing with these kind of people? 
I look around me and I see I have about 100 people on my FB page, I read their posts some of their opinions or statements offend me a little but I just turn the other cheek because even though it is not directed at me it is still somewhat offensive towards me. 
I just feel so .. alone sometimes, like what does it take to find genuine people - people who aren't so selfish, people who don't spend so much time judging other people, or those who sit around and stay friends with someone just to have access to their info and then bash them behind their backs, or people who only are happy to talk to  you when something horrible happens to you so they can get the story cause their lives are so boring on their own.
I see people talk about single moms, or lower income people, or other things that would apply to me and I think wtf are they thinking? I try and not post things like that because I don't want to ever offend someone I like, but other people just don't seem to have that consideration.
Other then one person I know for sure of, do I have any friends? other then my kids and parents and that one friend is there anyone who just likes me for me and wants to be friends with me and is able to wish me well? i just don't know, sometimes it doesn't appear that way.
Maybe I should delete the people I don't find genuine but then I wouldn't have anyone on my page really... it is just troubling. I wish I was a person surrounded with people who love me and really wish me well, and a husband who loved me and was honest and a best friend to me. Instead I just run into people who are transparent, selfish, gossip too much, are people I just don't respect people who can't be a friend to anyone else cause they are too worried about keeping up with the Jones' or are so self involved all they see in every accomplishment one person makes is something they feel they should have been more entitled to. 
It makes me sick, it makes me sad and sometimes I wonder what kind of place is this?
Or is it me... 

Monday, February 6, 2012

Why aren't people nice anymore?

I just find it so discouraging, after constant dealings with people in different fields of work to always have things come down to the same bottom line. They almost all seem to have that 'Me First' attitude, no one will help you unless it directly benefits them.
I have actually seen people go more out of their way not to help when just helping would have saved them time and energy, what is the point in that? Where are people's morals?
I really always try and find the best in most bad situations and I can almost always find a way to put a positive spin on ANYTHING. But in my heart, deep down in side I am losing faith in human kind. The good people are so sparse.
Here are some examples, lets start with my most recent experience. I purchased a car from a buy here pay here place---> Living Stone auto group in Easton, PA. I researched and could not find one bad thing on these people, so I went in with high hopes and the man was very well versed, he sounds like a stand up guy. Of course he tells you he is a stand up guy about 50 times in a half hour conversation mostly geared at listening to him talk himself up.
I go take the car for a ride, I had him drive so we could pay attention to noises etc plus I am not familiar with the area. He puts on the heat and talks non stop on the whole test ride.
I go all in and buy the car, gave him all my money $2,500 down with 6 references, then paid my taxes etc . My monthly payments are $275 for 20 months.
I go home park the vehicle and I was off from work the next two days, on day 3 I go drive the vehicle to work, come out of work and turn it on and the check engine light comes on. I immediately take it to my mechanic - he says it has to do with emissions. Not to worry I will just have to fix it before inspection, two days later the abs and brake light come on and stay on and I notice the heat does not work in the rear seats section, also my front heater only works on high and the passenger side window can only be operated from the driver side. Hmm ok well lots of little annoying things, so I take it to my mechanic he clears the code when he checks the check engine light but didn't get to see why the brake light was on and now it was clear so now I have to make it there in time when the light is still on, that would be interesting to pull off because it goes on and off. He fixes the heater issue and does an oil change per my request $145.
Now comes the next month, I make my payment and a week later I notice it is leaking anti freeze. So I take it back to my mechanic and it is a hose, a big hose that ends up costing me 2 days work (since I had to stay home while it was in the shop) and $208 and although I did get a warranty it does not cover any of these things thus far.
Now here we are, two weeks after this last repair and now the radiator is leaking from the front of the vehicle.
Okay now I am mad, I have been vocal with the man who sold it to me but he seems so full of shit I just say Okay and move on, his response (regarding the abs light's)was 'let me get you the part at a discount rate' what good is that? ok so you are going to have me drive there to give you money to get me a part then drive to my mechanic and drop it off .. and pay him anyway to put it in? I see that as more of a hassle.
This time however, I went a little further, I told him I no longer want this vehicle it is not reliable and it is just way to problematic. His response is that I am 'attacking him' and that he refuses to help me because I was not very nice to him, that at this point I can fix the car myself or give it back. Of course if I give it back who wins? and if i fix it who wins? Him.. and oh yeah HIM.
Instead of understanding my right to feel frustrated and to be upset he attacks me back by telling me he washes his hands of it, no really I did not expect much more from him. He says that he was willing to help me get a part last time at cost ooooh gee really that is so kind of you sir.
This man, is the prime reason of why I will never trust a car sales man. EVER. Sweet talk you, tell you (and believes it himself) how great he is and what kind of good person he is but then washes his hands of the lemon he sold me, I know it was used but come on from day 3 it has been nothing but trouble. He expects me to believe he did not know about the codes? he did not clear the engine code or brake codes? they came on the first time I really drove it, I find that too coincidental.
I know he may not have known about the radiator (but I am not 100% he didn't use stop leak) but I find it repulsive that he instead chooses to shift the blame and refuse to help me because I was 'attacking' him. Grow up - Of course I was angry wouldn't you be angry too, one thing after the other and no one who cares.
Instead of saying okay, let me take the vehicle back and let me get  you something else and we are even he instead says fix it or return it I already got most your money.
Disgusting.
So I plan to just drive it and hope for the best, I will keep anti freeze on me until I find something else then he can have it back and use all the money he got for it for free to fix it up and resell it. He will face karma one day. I have to just let it go and do what is best for myself and my family, I refuse to keep sinking money into this mistake.
I was then talking to my daughter about getting her hair cut and we were talking about if they would consider her hair long, her hair is about shoulder blade length and I said I consider that medium length but if you go to a salon they will tell you it is long and charge you extra to cut it lol cause they are all scam artists, just like car salesman.
I am now filling out a application for pre-k and I have to send them $50 in an application fee - really? Another scam, what is that $50 for? they aren't checking into anything background wise - they are not using any of their resources.. this money does not come off my tuition when she starts, it is not to hold a spot then when she starts they say ok here we will apply it to your tuition. No they just pocket it, a bogus fee just to take advantage of people.
I am so tired of people getting over on other people, where is your conscience? where are your morals? Where is your dignity? What is wrong with people?
I think sometimes, that you never know people even if you really think you know someone. It is what they do when they think no one is watching that tells you who they really are, I cannot tell you how many times I have set people up and found them to be really just disgusting people. Behind a computer they can unleash their darkest desires and no one will know.
I say put spy software on your computer and find out who you are really dating, put hidden cameras in your house and see who is really cleaning or babysitting in your house.
I hate to have to feel this way but I have yet to be proven wrong, as much as I always try and find positive in a negative situation I cannot find the same in the people I interact with, if there is not something in it for them people are rarely interested. The ones who are, usually want to pat them selves on the back, they will make sure everyone knows they helped you out, or they want everyone to know they donated to a cause or held the door open for someone.
We all do it to some extent and this way that I have of analyzing people and judging situations makes me a person who always hopes for the best but expects the worse.
I will always probably have one best friend and a ton of 'associates' and will probably never get married.
Realist --- maybe, bitter -- no.
Sometimes I wish I could really be wrong, just once in a while.