Well spring has arrived and I am still in the house most the time thanks to the rain. But the rain is better then snow and I am closer to going back to my house. My scheduled move is in 2 weeks, it is funny how it seemed like this time would never come but now here it is and it seems to have flown by.
I am going to miss my parents though, I like cooking for them everyday and I enjoy seeing them so much.
I am happy about going home but that also means going back to looking for work with an urgency again and something that works around my childrens schedule.
In a perfect world my parents would move back to my area so I can see them and not feel so alone there.
Well I am really looking forward to not leaning on people so much anymore - I hate it I really hate asking for favors or for help because people might do it but they always make sure you know it is an inconvenience and I am not referring to my parents but other people who are helping me here and there - even though I am paying them.
Anyway, other then being consumed with the move and fixing up the house I am just enjoying my babies every day. I adore them more then words can express. Time goes by way to quickly, my Violet will be 3 soon (4 days) and before you know it this little girl will be starting pre k ... so scary.
I know when Chastidy went to school I wasn't so worried about her in that environment but lately these kids and how they treat each other in school and the things I hear on the news makes me really worry about the people my kids will be around. I will do my best to make them strong but the world has a great amount of influence on our babies and it concerns me. I just have to focus on the positive I suppose but I will prevent what I can - hopefully I can get them into a decent school when the time comes.
It is just so hard when you see your kids so innocent and so full of love - and then you have to drop them into this cesspool and watch them loose that. It is one of the hardest things about being a parent.
I see the kids that go to school with my Chastidy who is soon entering high school and I see these kids talking about eating condoms cause they 'taste so delicious' to other kids talking about drugs and sex left and right .. it is really so disgusting to see KIDS talk like that - I don't know how they think that makes them grown - if anything it proves they aren't. They are so desperate to stand out and so desperate to fit in at the same time, they are lost and it is a shame. It makes me wonder is it the parents fault or is it just the worlds fault. When I say the world I mean society, television, radio etc .. Sometimes I guess it is a combination.
I can see why people isolate their kids from tv and school... school used to be a great place for kids but now every day when you send them off it is like your taking a huge gamble.
Well... I have a couple years left I suppose, hopefully I can find a nice place to send them that won't cost me too much money.
Having kids truly is like letting your heart walk around outside of your body. Such a vulnerability arises the moment they are born.
